Category Archives: SCHOOL WORK

Stories about working in a Public School.

6th Grade Minds on History

Hi Friends:

I shared this several years ago, and ran into it again. Maybe it’s because I now am back to teaching 6th Graders, it struck a new cord with me. 
I originally received, by email, in November of 2011, and now, these 8 years later in November, it still made me laugh, so maybe you’ll do the same.

6th Grade Minds on History

Original Introduction:

Insight into the minds of 6th graders: The following were answers
provided by 6th graders during a history test. Watch the spelling!
Some of the best humor is in the misspelling.

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”

8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.
9. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen,” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”

10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.

11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple.

12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.” Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

14. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.

15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered the radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

The Kind of Parent I Don’t Want to Be

Hi Friends:

This is kinda, sorta, springing off of our last post about “Be a Good Memory.”

There have been hundreds, maybe thousands, of books which try to “help you be a good parent,” or “better parent.” To help you become the parent you would like to be.

You know I am going to say that there is only one real source for how to become a “better” anything, and that is The Book. Period.
That won’t change.

For the context of this post … there isn’t much out there which writes of “What Kind of Parent You Don’t Want to Be.”

I tried … diligently … to search, online, for “How Many Books on Parenting Have Been Written?” or “How Many Books on Parenting are Written Each Year?”
I couldn’t find the answer, only a list of “Best” or “The Only Parenting Books You Need,” and so forth.

I did find out that nearly 10 Billion “self-improvement” books are sold each year, but I could not find the stats on “Parenting Books.”

So … I’ve had this one brewing for a while, and wanted to share it now:

I won’t go into any specifics about things I’ve witnessed, or what I’ve seen or heard “go on” at teacher/parent conferences … things like yelling, screaming, a parent showing up in pajamas, the word “intoxicated” being mentioned, things being thrown, and so on …

So … Here is “The Kind of Parent I Don’t Want to Be:”

The parent, or parents, are called in to the School for a “Parent/Child Conference.”
At the end … after the parent/parents have left … leaving only the teachers to summarize “what just happened” … one of the teachers says, out loud … what the others are thinking:

“Well, that certainly explains a thing or two.”

Graduation: What “Gets You There” Quote

As so many young adults (and teachers!) are looking forward to this year’s Graduation …
I think they are officially called “Graduation Exercises” …

Of course, I looked up the definition of “Exercise:”
“The act of bringing into play or realizing in action … regular or repeated use of a faculty … something performed or practiced in order to develop, improve, or display a specific capability or skill … a maneuver, operation, or drill carried out for training and discipline … to make effective in action … to bring to bear … to use repeatedly in order to strengthen or develop … something done over and over in order to develop skill …”

You just never know where you are going to get inspiration … I heard this while watching a documentary on television a few weeks ago …
I want to share this quote regarding the “Exercises” that “get you there,” under the lights, to celebrate a major accomplishment.

As with all great words of inspiration … it’s not meant for just one group, but for all:

“It’s not under the lights that counts.
It’s the sweat before you get there.”
Cassius Clay

Shared “Email” Classic: Teachers Pay/Are You Sick of Highly Paid Teachers?

Hi Friends:

A friend, at School, was cleaning out their office, and found this among the files.
Not sure how old this is, but I’m sure it’s “been around” for a while.
I’m equally sure that this one has been emailed around the country, so I think it qualifies to be included in our “classics.”

I don’t write ‘em … I receive ‘em …

I usually don’t comment at all on these “classics” I share, but, in this case, I just couldn’t help thinking about Pro Athletes salaries … I just don’t seem to see many “outrage” emails about those …
Now, I’m reminded of a quote from Andy Rooney:
“Why is that?”

Here’s the “email,” exactly as I received it:

Are you sick of highly paid teachers?

Teachers’ hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work nine or ten months a year! It’s time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do — babysit!

We can get that for less than minimum wage.

That’s right. Let’s give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and planning — that equals 6-1/2 hours).

So each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day…maybe 30? So that’s $19.50 x 30 = $585.00 a day.

However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations.

LET’S SEE….

That’s $585.00 X 180= $105,300 per year.

What about those special education teachers and the ones with Master’s degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an hour. That would be $8.00 per hour X 6-1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800.00 per year.

Wait a minute — there’s something wrong here! There sure is!

The average teacher’s salary (nationwide) is $50,000.

$50,000.00/180 days = $277.77 per day. Divide this by 30 students and that’s $9.25 per day.
Divide $9.25 by 6.5 hours and that’s $1.42 per hour per student — a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE your kids!

WHAT A DEAL!!!!

The Statler Brothers: “The Class of ’57”

Hi Friends:

With this song, the Statler Brothers were awarded the 1972 Grammy Award for “Best Country Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group.”

Released in August, 1972, “The Class of ’57” was written by Don Reid and Harold Reid, and was the first single from the album “Country Music Then and Now.”

The Statler Brothers are:
Harold Reid, Phil Balsley, Jimmy Fortune and Don Reid.

The group retired from concerts and tours in 2002.

Here are the words:

The Class of ‘57
(Don Reid / Harold Reid)

Tommy’s selling used cars
Nancy’s fixing hair
Harvey runs a grocery store
And Margaret doesn’t care
Jerry drives a truck for Sears
And Charlotte’s on the make
Paul sells life insurance and part time real estate
Helen is a hostess
Frank works at the mill
Janet teaches grade school, and probably always will
Bob works for the city
And Jack’s in lab research
Peggy plays organ at the Presbyterian Church

And the class of ’57 had its dreams
We all thought we’d change the world with our great works & deeds
Or maybe we just thought the world would change to fit our needs
The class of ’57 had its dreams

Betty runs a trailer park
Jan sells Tupperware
Randy’s on an insane ward
And Mary’s on welfare
Charlie took a job at Ford
Joe took Freddie’s wife
Charlotte took a millionaire
And Freddie took his life
Johnny’s big in cattle
Ray is deep in debt
Where Mavis finally wound up is anybody’s bet
Linda married Sonny
Brenda married me
And the class of all of us is just part of history

And the class of ’57 had its dreams
But living life day-to-day
Is never like it seems
Things get complicated when you get past eighteen
But the class of ’57 had its dreams

The class of ’57 had its dreams
We all thought we’d change the world with our great work & deeds.
Or maybe we just thought the world would change to fit our needs.
The class of ’57 had its dreams.

Songwriters: Don Reid / Harold Reid

Graduation: Three in Six Days: Introduction to “Class of ’57”

Hi Friends:

This started as a short introduction to the Statler Brothers’ song, written by Don Reid and Harold Reid, “The Class of ’57.”
I hadn’t planned on writing much … but here we go …

This will serve as an introduction to the video, which we’ll feature next time …

Somehow, I feel comfort when I think that I wasn’t even born in 1957, but the words from this popular Statler Brothers song continue to ring true today:

“We all thought we’d change the world
With our great works & deeds
Or maybe we just thought the world
Would change to fit our needs
The class of ’57 had its dreams”

I’ve been a “ticketed” guest at 3 different High School Graduation ceremonies in one week, at 3 separate, very different venues. 3 in 6 days. That’s one every two days.
I’ve witnessed speeches, marches, and the look of fear, anticipation, gratitude, joy, and excitement, with tassels being turned, and caps thrown into the air.

I’ve seen the pride and joy, that look of accomplishment, of a student who would be the first in their family to graduate High School.
I’ve also looked into the eyes of a student who had just been told that they would not be graduating …
The first place they came was to the Library …

I’ll never forget last Friday, when a group of graduates, as they saw me arrive, began shouting my name, running up as a group to hug me … It was exactly the same scene I had, a few years ago, when I walked into a local McDonald’s, and as I walked from the side entrance, through the restaurant, to the front counter, I passed a group of tables … where a group of my students (now, this was K-2), having “lunch at Summer camp,” saw me, and … there is no better word to describe it … they mobbed me … screaming my name as they ran up, surrounded me, and, literally, “jumped on me” …
You just don’t forget those moments.

By the way … and, all teachers know this:
When you teach K-2, and you see a student at Wal-Mart, they mob you.
When you teach High School, and you see a student at Wal-Mart … they ignore you … like they’ve never seen you before …

This past Monday, in another city, a pretty long drive, I was there to witness the Graduation of a student who had worked for me in the Library at the High School … first, as an internship, then, on a volunteer basis … The traffic in town was incredible, and I finally found a place to park. The only chairs available were at the back of the assembly, which was great, because, the Graduates entered the large hall from the back entrance, just behind me. As they slowly, step-by step, made their way up the aisle, I was turned around to see each Graduate as they “entered” the Main Hall area … I will never forget the look on this young man’s face, as he entered the “staging area” directly behind me … As he stepped into view … He saw me there on the back row … I’ll just never … ever … forget the huge smile that erupted from his face, as he realized I was there …

This young man had made a special trip to our High School, a couple of months before, to present me with the “ticket” to attend the ceremony … I, nor he, had any idea that he would be presented/awarded with an award at Graduation, that is the highest honor a Graduate could receive … in honor of Public Service … His Mother was a featured guest speaker at the Ceremony … His “sash” had the “USAF” banner … I was so proud of him … The photos of me and him, as he displayed his “Raymond Burton” Award, in full “cap and gown,” with the “USAF” sash draped across his shoulders, was one of the proudest moments of my life … eclipsed only by the opportunity to take several photos of him and his Mother … with her camera! I’ll just never forget that …

Then, on Friday, our High School had our Graduation ceremony.
More memories:
The young lady who sang the National Anthem, and whom I have written about in a previous post (I’m so proud of her!), practiced the Anthem … just outside the Library door … that is one picture I’ll always treasure …

I was able to fulfill a promise to another young man who had interned … and then volunteered … to help me in the Library this year. He is a proud member of the United States National Guard, and I had promised, if he would stop by, before Graduation, to take pictures of him (and us together) in his “Dress Blues,” which he proudly wore underneath his Graduation robe. He had just received his “PFC” ranking, and with his Insignia Pin, Award Medal, and sash proudly displaying “National Guard,” we were able to take his picture … and … which meant so much … “our” picture, in the Library …

I saw so many students … maybe, let’s be honest … I may have been seeing for the last time … who have helped me, on a volunteer basis, in the Library.
So many who just loved to stop by and visit …
So many … many students … maybe, let’s be honest … I may have been seeing for the last time …

It’s not that I may have meant much to them … that I may have influenced and affected their lives …
It’s how profoundly they have influenced and affected my life.
That they did … and do … mean so much to me.

As I saw the “caps and gowns” of some I have known since they were just “kids,”
I didn’t feel any older.
I felt prouder.

“And the class of ’57 had its dreams
But living life day-to-day
Is never like it seems
Things get complicated when you get past eighteen
But the class of ’57 had its dreams”

Blessings,
Richard. Vincent. Rose.

Quote: “Ready or Not, the Future Will Come”

Hi Friends:

I wanted to share this quote from a soon-to-be graduating Senior at our local High School.

One of our televisions in the Library is always tuned to a news channel, so current events are always “on display” for patrons to view, and, often, to share their thoughts about.
Today, like all days, the news was on, and, like always, we hear comments like “What’s this world coming to?” Or, concerns about “What’s going to happen next?” Needless to say, world political events, and especially the United States’ part in them, are always at the forefront of discussion, especially among adults.

I guess these are the same questions that mankind has had, to a certain degree, always. And, to a certain degree, “always” will have.

For a Senior graduating High School, getting ready to “step out there” for the first time, it does give a different angle to “all things become new.” I sensed the apprehension this young man had, as he contemplated the future … especially his future. We spoke about this, and then, “from out of nowhere,” seemingly grasping wisdom well beyond his years, he said this:

“The Future is going to come faster than you think it will.
The only thing is, “Are you prepared for it?”
Because only you can make your future become reality.
Everyone else can only help you from the sidelines.
Remember:
The future is going to come, whether you are ready or not.”